Align's 12 modules.

01

Sleep and fatigue

Move past the myth of the perfectly rested couple.

• · Fatigue audit: who actually sleeps how much
• · Sustainable micro-recovery strategies
• · Negotiating nights without a spreadsheet
• · Sleep and desire: the invisible correlation

Main sources: Chronobiology research (Foster, Walker), parental sleep debt literature.

02

Mental load

Distinguish the 3 loads people confuse.

• · Logistical load (who does what)
• · Anticipation load (who thinks about what)
• · Emotional load (who regulates whom)
• · The Eve Rodsky test: what you actually carry

Deliverable: Mental load map.

Main sources: Eve Rodsky (Fair Play), research on division of domestic labor.

03

Sex after baby

Rebuild desire without calendars or performance.

• · The real postpartum desire curve
• · Spontaneous vs responsive desire
• · Escaping the "we should get back to it" pressure
• · The conversations you avoid

Main sources: Esther Perel (long-term intimacy), postnatal sexology research.

04

Conflict and arguments

The pact that stops the same scenes from repeating.

• · Gottman's 4 patterns (Four Horsemen)
• · Perpetual vs solvable conflict
• · The stop word and repair ritual
• · Late-night arguments, exhaustion, and the trap

Deliverable: Printable A4 conflict pact, signed by both partners.

Main sources: John Gottman (Four Horsemen), systemic couple therapy literature.

05

Personal identity

Stay yourself while becoming a parent.

• · The silent erosion of personal identity
• · Unicorn Spaces (Eve Rodsky)
• · Recognizing the sacrifices that turn sour
• · Reframing your needs without guilt

Deliverable: A letter to yourself, intimate format.

Main sources: Eve Rodsky (Find Your Unicorn Space), Yvon Dallaire.

06

Family project

Align long-term visions without forcing it.

• · How many children, really
• · The acceptable gap between the two desires
• · Silent conditions (career, place to live)
• · When the desire gap is structural

Main sources: Family demography research, literature on couples with multiple children.

07

Return to work

Negotiate the transition without guilt.

• · The all-or-nothing trap (full-time vs stopping)
• · Renegotiating the split before going back
• · First three months: what holds, what breaks
• · The second parent's leave: the forgotten lever

Main sources: Postpartum work organization research, parental leave sociology.

08

The role of relatives

Set the boundaries grandparents won't set.

• · Grandparents' role: helpful, intrusive, or both
• · The 5 rules couples rarely make explicit
• · Handling unsolicited advice without breaking ties
• · When a grandparent is absent or estranged

Deliverable: Relatives charter, 5 shared rules.

Main sources: Anna Roy, sociology of extended families.

09

Couple finances

Build a clear-eyed financial dashboard.

• · Joint, separate, hybrid accounts: trade-offs
• · Maternity leave's effect on disposable income
• · Hidden trade-offs (childcare, part-time)
• · A 4-indicator monthly dashboard

Deliverable: Working finance dashboard + monthly ritual.

Main sources: Domestic economy research, INSEE data.

10

Shared parenting

Co-parent when you don't share the same history.

• · Recognizing your inherited parenting model
• · Educational divergences that surface along the way
• · The shared parenting manifesto
• · Arguing about parenting in front of the child: why it's devastating

Deliverable: Parenting manifesto, shareable with relatives.

Main sources: Developmental psychology research, co-parenting literature.

11

Emotional intimacy

Move past the automatic "I'm fine."

• · Bids for Connection (Gottman): the invisible micro-asks
• · The Rogers stance: listening without giving solutions
• · Buried conversations that turn sour
• · The 5-minute evening ritual

Deliverable: Pre-written scripted dialogue, to read aloud.

Main sources: Esther Perel, John Gottman, Brené Brown, Carl Rogers, Sue Johnson, James Cordova.

12

5-year compass

Define a shared horizon while accepting we predict happiness poorly.

• · Lucid projection vs magical prediction
• · The 4 structural axes of long-term couples
• · Projection by subtraction (what you no longer want to repeat)
• · The post-90-day maintenance plan

Deliverable: Compass capsule (text + photo, optional audio), revisitable at D+90, D+180, D+365.

Main sources: Anne Dufourmantelle, Boris Cyrulnik, Daniel Kahneman, Daniel Gilbert, Christophe André.